I know you never ask for my 2 cents but I always give it whether you like it or not because that is ME!
I have to tell you the bookers have put together a strong lineup on paper. You know how that goes, sometimes the strongest on paper don't always turn out that way and sometimes they turn out even stronger than you can imagine but here are my thoughts match by match.
MAIN EVENT - Kafu VS. Rulez: I don't know what to think about this match. I don't know if this is another plot on the part of Gabe Ramirez and Jason Deadrich giving Nate Rulez a title shot. I don't know if it was meant to cause disention in EGO or even create a little heat between Rulez and Kafu or even LaRocca and myself. I'll tell you this, we will be making last minute strategic plans because I don't even want to think about it right now. One thing for sure, my eyes will be open with LaRocca and the bitch that keeps looking in the mirror and can't have enough of himself, AJ Kirsch.
APW INTERNET TITLE: Kudo VS. MPT I can't tell you much about Kudo but I sure hope he knows he is getting in the ring with a stud in MPT. Gabe Ramirez is always making these wiere relationships with people overseas. They tell me this guy is one of the top wrestlers in his promotion in Japan. One thing for sure, MPT will soon bite the big one if he keeps defending his belt against these Japanese wrestlers who are trying to make a name for themselves in the U.S. and an even bigger name in Japan by defeating a top wrestler in the U.S.. I know WWE and TNA are the big promotions and ROH is well know in Japan as far as Indy promotions go but don't forget APW is also well known in Japan becausee of all the graduates that have toured Japan over the years. This guy Kudo is no dummy. He is here to make a name for himself in a promotion everyone in Japan is familiar with.
3 WAY DANCE: Melissa VS. Sara Del Ray VS. Allison Danger
This could end up being a dogfight. Why do I say this? First, you have 3 of the top females in the U.S. competing. Secondly, there has always been the argument who is the best BOOT CAMP female graduate, Melissa or DelRey? Sometimes my question is who is the best female in the U.S., Melissa or DelRey? These two aren't stupid. They know the competition and what fans think and don't think and if that doesn't intensify the competition, I don't know what will. Now throw in Allison Danger and what the heck can she be thinking? Maybe her strategy will be to let Melissa and Del Rey beat the crap out of each other and she sneaks in for the victory and becomes the talk of #1 female. (Danger: That was free advise from the Godfather - anything else will cost you money and I don't come cheap)
SPECIAL ATTRACTION - J. J. Perez VS. Hornet
Let me give you the inside scoop on this guy Hornet so you know why someone would be dumb enough to ask for a match with a midget. He knows someone in a Japanese promotion and is trying to get him in. He needs footage and some goof tells him if you wrestle the midget and defeat him and send that footage in, it will increase your changes of going on tour with the promotion. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell this kid that it is a rib because last I heard there are not any MIDGET PROMOTIONS running in Tokyo.
I guess I'll finish up with the preliminaries. Some preliminaries. I know you've heard it before but I will say it again, "THESE MATCHES CAN BE MAIN EVENTS ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY TODAY" Okay, Roy Shires got away with his television announcer using that line back in the 70's but if you've seen some of the crap I've seen out there lately, these next matches might not be all that bad and might be main events anywhere in the country today.
SHOOTER JONES VS. OLIVER JOHN
Interesting match! Oliver John is a nutcase who was very well trained by a 60's/70's legend Paul DeMarco with lots of technical ability but I haven't seen any of this technical ability in an Oliver John match yet. He always wants to brawl. He would have been good at Gym Wars in 97 in matches with Vic Grimes. He better put his technical shoes on or Jones will tie him up in knots. It is funny because any wrestler that has an amateur background, I don't care if it is Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle etc..., they've all heard of Tony Jones and I am not talking about Beyond the Mat movie, I'm talking his NCAA days. Now Jones could afford to pay me for consultation because nobody has scouted his opponent better than I have because I grew up with Paul DeMarco wrestling.
KIRSCH/SANDERS VS. GROUND & POUND Aquino/Lee
Another runaway midget in Aquino. If the opponents forget about the Tito popularity with fans, they can overcome his in-ring abilities and he has some and is impressive at times. I just think for Aquino to be successful in a tag-team he has to team up with smarter partners. Dana Lee is not the brightest light bulb. As a matter of fact, I can produce more light from a burnt out light bulb than I could from the lightbulb Dana Lee. Speaking of lightbulbs, Lee's body is about as pale as a lightbulb. Now that doesn't mean they can't win this match especially because I hear Derek Sanders has been fighting a bug and has been spending lots of time in bathrooms as of late. If I were Tito, I'd take advantage of the fact Sanders might be sick. It is going around.
AMERICAN BALOON vs. DANSHOKU DINO
If you think I am going to comment on American Balloon, you can forget it. Maybe Sanders sat next to Ballon in the Bakersfield locker room and watched him dress. That would turn anyones stomach.
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